13th November 2012

Tinnitus…Oops!

“My own behaviour baffles me.  For I find myself not doing what I really want to do but doing what I really loathe.”
Romans 7:15 (J.B.Phillips)

I wrote not so long ago using tinnitus as an example of needing to focus out of the noises of the world and into God’s voice. I believe God gave me that inspiration knowing that I would soon be needing it.

God had taught me the theory and he had me try that theory out in small practice sessions, but it was in preparation for a bigger practical lesson. My recent experience has been much bigger, having been diagnosed with breast cancer. It has been a bombshell as some of the things I have been told are scary.

And yes, my focus was becoming awry. But two days after diagnosis I read a Day by Day entitled, yes, you guessed it, ~ Tinnitus. I am a firm believer that God has a sense of humour. Fancy using my own words back at me! At that stage I was able to refocus back to God and his word. I also asked my husband to simply say ‘tinnitus’ to me should my focus go awry again.

A week after diagnosis I was struggling at the next appointment so he said ‘tinnitus’ which set the tears in motion good and proper. Over the next 36 hours I seemed to weep a whole ocean worth of tears as the doctor said a CT scan was needed as the cancer may have spread elsewhere. As I said, some of the things said to me are scary.

I knew I needed to refocus but the flesh side of me was winning that particular battle so I cried out to God for more pictures which would help me to refocus. He gave me two pictures that day and more the next. The bully I face may be very much bigger than me but if I look around I can see how very much bigger God is than any bully. Also, if I sit on God’s shoulders, I am high and safe while God deals with that bully.

There’s not room for the other pictures excepting the Israelites up against the Red Sea. God has given us a wealth of pictures to help us through this life, both in the Bible and in nature.

The pictures helped me to refocus and I once again stood to fight another day. Yes, I’m sure I will have more ‘bad’ days when I’ll struggle, but I know to ask God to help with the focusing. He is faithful to help us and will neither leave nor forsake us.

Prayer
Thank You, Father, for answering all our prayers. You have blessed me so much, thank You. Please bless those who are struggling with their own ‘bullies’ by providing the help they need, and especially provide the ability to focus on you and your word. Thank You in Jesus’ name.
Amen

Study by Ruth Edwards 

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Comments

One Response to “13th November 2012”

  1. Ian Woodley on November 17th, 2012 8:13 am

    Hello Ruth
    Thank you for sharing your experiences of how God is being faithful to you – as you continue to go through this very difficult time. Your story is inspiring and a powerful reminder that we shouldn’t let our trials bully us into submission – God is bigger than them all (though sometimes it doesn’t feel like it).
    Your Day by Day has been a blessing to me , encouraging us all not to let the trials of life deflect us from God’s purpose for our lives. You are in my prayers.
    Kind Regards
    Ian

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